


At least something went right

by BasicFangirl



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bad Jokes, F/M, Honestly I'm gonna be horrible, Hurts So Good, I don't know who reader would fall in love with, I like lovestories sooo, I'm a nerd, I'm clueless, Other, maybe not that amazing hehe, maybe some love dunno, mean me mohaha, sorry - Freeform, this is amazing and I'm very ego haha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2018-09-15 06:25:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9223088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BasicFangirl/pseuds/BasicFangirl
Summary: The reader was saved by the Avengers from HYDRA. She didn't have any memories except her name.One day after a fight with Tony where he threatens to shoot her with his suit, she runs into a door and breaks her nose. She is met by the Avengers - Tony and + Bucky laughing at her. Nice friends/family. When she goes to clean up her nose she faints and gets flashbacks. Then her journey begins to find out her past life.I don't know this is like a really weird story and I'm not sure where it will go to. The beginning is a bit dark but later in the story, I hope there will be some humor. Because why not, humor is funny :D Not mine though I am the master of bad jokes and boring Author notes :) Hope this could be interesting :D The first chapter is an authors note but I recommend you to read it since it contains a lot of information <3





	1. Chapter 1

For as long as I can remember I have lived in the one and only Stark tower with my life-saviour/dad-ish-person aka. Tony Stark. I've lived with Tony since I was 14 (Now I’m 18 and alive n well) when he and some avengers like captain america, hawkeye and all of the others + Bucky saved me from Hydra. So I have no idea how long I've been at Hydra and nobody can find anything on me in old Hydra archives, Government archives and we’ve even had Jarvis do facial scans multiple times and there are no results anywhere. I always tell everyone that we don’t need to know where I came from cuz I obviously don’t want to be found but of course nobody will listen to me. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Tooooooonyyyyyyyy” you whined being sick and tired of him trying to find out who I am for four years, “I don’t want to know who I used to be before Hydra I know who I am now and that is enough for me”. 

“(y/n), I want to do this, I want to know who you are and why Hydra ever touched you, I mean what if you are a Barbra from Norway I mean wouldn’t you want to know? And finding out who you are would also explain why you literally almost can speak every language in the world!” He replied turning around from his computer to give you a hopeful smile. 

In return I just gave him my best bitch face(which is quite good actually ;D) and said “I dont fucking want to know! Is it that hard to understand, I mean you’re supposed to be a genius but I can’t fucking see how!” 

Tonys hopeful smile disappeared and he got very serious and that isn’t very good because when he is serious he is either really mad or he has come up with a way to prank some avenger.

And I quickly understood that he wasn’t planning on pranking anyone right now. To my surprise all Tony said was “Out!” and pointed to the door I kept a blank face but I didn’t react fast enough to his order so a few seconds later he screamed “OUT BEFORE I GO GET MY MOTHER FUCKING SUIT!” that made me practically sprint out from Tonys lab straight into a fucking door.

“FUCK, FUCK, FUCK MY LIFE” I screamed as I felt blood pour out of my nose. But that was all I had to say, since I am a real weirdo, I just simply stood up and walked laughing through the door I crashed on which led to the avengers kitchen/ living room where everyone sat laughing at me.

“What? It’s not my fault the fucking door was in my fucking way while running from Tony, who by the way was threatening to grab his suits and shoot me a bit if I didn’t leave his lab!”, somehow I managed to keep my poker face and ‘acting’ very serious about it.

“Language” I heard Steve mutter under his breath. I heard his ‘language’ and quickly turned to him and sent him a look. And I mean if looks could kill our favorite captain would’ve been very dead. Steve flinched which caused Bucky to burst out laughing at his best friend but I sent him a deadly look and he got quiet immediately and tried to disappear into the couch.  
Then Natasha got up from the couch and quietly walked up to me and gave me a high-five on the way out.

“So what was it that happened this time that caused you to run into something (y/n)?” Clint paused and then continued “Did you blow something up in his lab without him again?” 

I rolled my eyes at this and said “He wanted to get a piece of my toenail to check in some archive in Finland or something but I didn’t want to so I said ‘I can’t fucking see how you are a genius’ and pretty stuff like that.”, I touched my nose and said “goddammit I think my nose is broken, again” I then cracked my nose into the right place and the whole team groaned in disgust.

“You really gotta stop doing that yourself, I mean we do have a medics who can do it for you, but nooo you just got to do it yourself!” Bucky whined not being very happy with me taking care of my own health like broken noses. I just shrugged in response, I mean I do it just as good as the medics though my way is with less painkillers… The pain never bothered me anyway ♫♫♫…(had to sorry).

Then I went to the kitchen which was behind a wall that kind of gives privacy to the living room so you wouldn’t be bothered by the sounds the kitchen makes (when you fry something etc.) to clean my face from the blood my nose had to leave behind from having a lovely meeting with a door...When I got to the kitchen a sharp pain hit me. I believe you all have hit your toe on furniture and it hurts like hell imagine that multiply it with 100 and imagine that in your head like a migraine but 100 times worse. I immediately fell onto the floor and pushed my palms hard at my ears to block out the high pitched sound I heard. The last thing I heard was “(Y/N)!” Then everything went black.

*Screams* There is a high pitched sound that makes my ears bleed. I scream as my head feels like I’m going to explode at any second. Suddenly the high pitched noise disappears and I can breathe again. But I know it won’t last for so long. I look around me and see men and women in lab coats taking notes. I so badly want to close my eyes but I know that if I do it will be taken as weakness. ‘If I show weakness I will get punished’ is the thought going around in my head. 

“Das ist also das neue experiment?” (So this is our new experiment?) I hear a tall man say, I somehow understand what he is saying even though I know I’ve never known german. 

“Ja, sie wird das gehirn sein Hydra” (yes she will be the brain of Hydra), a shorter man with glasses and a labcoat answers the tall man. What he meant with that I didn’t understand. The tall man looks around the lab with appreciation and they both turn around and walk out of the door.

 

I hear the short man say “Nimm sie zurück zu ihrer zelle, wir sind heute fertig.” (take her back to her cell, we’re finished for today). And large men with big guns came up to me and said “aufstehen!” (get up!). I got up knowing there would be consequences if I didn’t so I used the last bit of energy I had to stand up but I fell as soon as I got up. Two of the guards lifted me under my armpits to lift my upper body while my legs were just hanging behind my and being pulled on the floor while a guard muttered something about me being a useless bitch. That hurt. Not really though. Though I have probably had prettier moments in my life than this one, at least I hope so.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPITRE NUMÉRO DEUX-so this time it was a French chapter title thing… YUP good job me :D Hope you’ll enjoy this chapter as well. Just so you know the first few chapters will be a bit darker and then I’m going to try to write “humor” stuff but I want it to be like a story and not one-shots though one-shots are hilarious sometimes :D BTW the lengths of the different chapters are going to be very different because... IDK but sometimes you know you’re a bit less productive and sometimes you are very productive so yeah.

My head was pulsing. It felt like your heart was like ‘you know what I am sick and tired of being in the chest of this bitch I wanna be in the head ya know’ and then decided to move. And since your heart doesn’t belong in your head (cuz your brain is there) that gave you the worst headache ever. So, of course, you let out a groan because you know it is so annoying to have a headache.

When I did that I immediately heard all of the Avengers saying “(y/n), (y/n), (y/n), (y/n) omg are you okay?” “Is she even awake?” I heard Clint ask and that made me groan again and say “so you’re still an idiot Barton?”. That made all the avengers sigh in relief. They probably thought I was dead like the time they found me passed out on the couch after a wild night out with a bit too much alcohol and drugs.

“What happened sugar?” Bucky asked and I groaned at the nickname. He has a new nickname every time we speak though his favorite is probably ‘doll’. Why he likes ‘doll’ so much is only because I hate it when he calls me that because I am anything but a doll. So I ignore him and look up to the ceiling to avoid looking my ‘family’ in the eyes.

Bucky took an annoyed breath when he realized that I had ignored him and said: “(y/n), please tell us what happened, we were worried sick when you were unconscious, did you take something again or what did you do?” I chuckled and replied, “I don’t know what happened my head started to hurt and then there was this high pitched noise and then I passed out.”

I was met with silence, so to break the silence I asked, “could someone please get me a glass of water, cuz I can’t get it myself since you are surrounding me.” This got them moving when I took a step I stumbled a bit but steadied myself before anyone could notice. ‘Weakness is punished’ was all I was thinking and I didn’t dare to show my fear so I put on a blank expression on my face and made my way to the sink. I turned on the water and washed my face, feeling the Avengers looking at my back. The dream I had, I can’t call it a dream I just know it has happened to me, a flashback.

Annoyed I turned around and said to the team “Could you please stop looking at me like if I’m dead!” This got them moving and they all mumbled excuses and went their own ways. They knew I wasn’t telling the truth. I’m usually good at lying.

“Jarvis, could you please tell me where Tony is?” I asked after a while of staring at a wall in the kitchen, Jarvis replied with his mechanical British voice “Sir is out flying. I believe you upset him during your fight in the lab earlier ms. (y/n).” I sighed and thanked Jarvis and then I texted Tony that I was sorry that I was rude to him and asked him to come home.

I sighed and checked the time. 00:58. Shit how long was I out and how long did I just stand in the kitchen and stare at a wall. I walked out of the kitchen and took the stairs up to my room to avoid meeting anyone in the elevator. In my room, I crashed in my bed after changing to pajamas. I fell asleep pretty fast being very tired after the day. The sleep didn’t last though. Every night from then I woke up drenched in sweat shaking from flashbacks that haunt my sleep. I pretty quickly understood that Hydra had removed my memories and my nightmares were the memories that were taken away from me. I wonder how long I was a prisoner at Hydra.

The Avengers notices the lack of sleep in me when they ask I just joke it away with worse jokes than usual. I am usually pretty social but now I lock myself into myself away from the world and only came out when I needed to eat which was three times a day (when I was forced out from my room). When everyone (except me) went on a mission together for a night I didn’t eat at all. My headache hasn’t disappeared yet. It isn’t as bad but it won’t go away. Painkillers don’t help. Sleep doesn’t help. Water doesn’t help. It won’t go away completely.  
When the team came home from the mission and found out that I hadn’t eaten they weren’t happy at all. That was what got me to this situation. Being cornered by the Avengers.

“You can’t keep doing this (y/n), you’re starving yourself and locking yourself away from reality, you have to tell us why”, Steve said. I could really see how desperate they were to help me. I turned away my head to avoid looking at them and simply said. “I don’t know”.

At this Natasha snorted and said “bullshit (y/n), you know exactly why you are doing it, why don’t you just tell us you have a mouth that usually talks a lot but when you are quiet it is because you’re starving yourself and totally leaving us like question marks! So just tell us it isn’t that hard!”, looking at me with fire in her eyes she added “please”.

I just said, “not right now I just can’t right now, please don’t make me.” Then I ran to my room and locked the door after me. Tears were streaming from my eyes as I ran into my bathroom to get my razor. I pushed my hoodie up my arm and dragged the razor over my bare skin cutting it up as I took a sharp breath at the pain. I cut myself again and again on the arm until I felt better. I stopped the bleeding and wrapped a bandage around my arm. I don’t know how but the relief I felt as I cut myself was extraordinary. It gave me some type of comfort. With every cut, it felt like if the blood carried all of you anxiety out somehow.

As I lay in my bed scared of going to sleep not knowing what horrible flashbacks I will see tonight I came up with the genius idea to try to get my memories back with technology. I mean my memories were removed with the same machine as Hydra removed Bucky's memories with so if I could just figure out how that machine works then I can use that to somehow reverse the effect of the brainwashing. That night I got to work trying to find every file I could find in archives everywhere on brainwashing to understand how to reverse the effect and give me my memories back.

A/N  
So do you think this will be a story worth reading, I sure hope so :D So I think the next chapters might take a bit longer to write since I might need to do a little bit of research about brains. That sounded weird but yeah. It doesn’t have to be medically accurate but I want it to you know to be based on facts at least. So I’ll do a bit of research on brains and science stuff like that. Good thing I like science, not in school but on my free time. Just like I love history, honestly, I could probably read an essay on World War II for fun. But you know, what would we be without a history?  
I like talking a lot about stuff nobody cares about and therefore my A/Ns are very long so I can just you know let it all out. Haha, I am probably the most unique “author” here. But unique is good so it doesn’t matter.  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Love from little me <3

I'm a bit busy for about 2-3 days so no story for a while!


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE-good job you wrote a title in 100% English *applause* This was kinda short also *applause again*

“The brain is a gray lump on about 1 kg (barely 2 lbs)” I groan at this annoyed that I can’t find anything more useful than this. Nerves transport information with electricity. So they must have used electricity in some way to put away memories somewhere else in the brain. I groan again knowing that this is way too hard for me to figure out. It’s way out of my league. But I can’t give up, that’s not me. My time at Hydra proves that. Managing to live through that isn’t something anyone would be able to do.

Then I found something and if I had been sleeping I would jump around dance and scream in happiness but unfortunately, I don’t have the energy to do that so I just smiled being very happy. The cortex is where our senses, movements memories, language, and feelings are controlled, then the cortex must be important. My cortex must’ve lost the ability control memories with the help of nerves that send the information around in the brain and body. So Hydra must have somehow chopped of some nerves that help control memories and now they are slowly healing which is why I get all these nasty flashbacks. But if my brainwashing was somewhere near Buckys then I would never get all my memories back if I heal naturally. Bucky's memories come and go as they please. If I figure this out I can help both of us.

So if I just find out how to connect the nerves again then I can get all my memories back immediately. But before I had time to do anything I fell asleep on my desk and for once I had a pleasant flashback that didn’t end with me waking up shaking and drenched in sweat. Instead, it left me very confused.

FLASHBACK

“Mother! Look what I can do!” A six-year-old me said as I balanced on a beam in the roof of a large barn. I was balancing over a hayloft filled with hay where it wouldn’t hurt me if I fell, but a few meters forward the hayloft disappeared. It was probably about 30 meters down to the ground floor which was rocks and small pebbles. “Oh no, (y/n), get down from there right now, I don’t want you to fall!”

My mother said to me with panic in her voice. I didn’t listen, I’m stubborn today and apparently, I was stubborn back then as well. Some things never change.  
I continued walking forward on the beam feeling a familiar feeling in my stomach. The feeling when adrenaline is released into your blood and you just get this amazing feeling. I heard my mother scream my name over and over again begging me to stop but I didn’t care. I was reckless and took a step out from the safety of the hayloft and started to take steps to the open area of the rocky floor under. I did what you might expect, I fell down right onto the rocky floor.I felt everything get black.

Then I opened my eyes after what felt like seconds to me but it had been three days since I blacked out. My family was gathered around me praying for me. It wasn’t praying for me getting better I realized. It was praying for my soul to rest in peace.

But since I was six (six-year-olds aren’t always the smartest is my meaning) I just asked “Why the long faces mother, father, beloved siblings and mr.priest?” everyone snapped their heads up and looked at me. The priest pointed a shaky finger at me and said “witch”. I could see the disgust in my family's eyes. “Burn her!” my father said.

At my execution, the executioner whispered to me right before he set me on fire “This is what happens when you cheat death, witch.” Then I burned, but I never died. I realized that I was cheating death. In my mind I saw every time I cheated death, it was way too many times. But what left me the most confused, was my date of birth and boy am I old.

END FLASHBACK

A/N  
This is probably the worst chapter so far. I didn’t know how to write it you know. I have these ideas in my mind but you know I just had problems writing them down in a language that actually is understandable. Though I am kind of proud of my little science part in this chapter. It took a while longer to write it but it was worth it.  
I wrote and posted this on my phone actually and I’m so proud I managed to post this even though I said I wouldn’t post for 2-3 days. But I did! YAYYY. Thanks for the comments also! They made me really happy <3  
I also saw “Passengers” today. It was an amazing movie (if you like sci-fi :D). I would love to see it again. It was really really really good, watch it if you haven’t watched it already. The movie's story is probably the most original idea ever. I haven’t seen or read anything like it anywhere. It is a genius movie! I hope this was enjoyable xD <3


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR- This was very fun writing :D Though this is a very short chapter…:(

This morning I woke up with a horrible headache. My forehead was pressed to my desk and being cooled down by the cool hard surface. As I lifted my head up I remembered the weird flashback I had during the night. I didn’t have time to think a lot about that because Steve and the crew had to knock down my door (literally) to interrogate me.

“Okay, you gotta tell us what’s wrong!” Steve literally shouted at me and he never shouts so I just kinda look at him being like ‘I didn’t know you could shout’. After that, he adds a please to the sentence and I chuckle but a look from Tony shuts me up. His looks are sometimes really deadly.

“Well honestly I don’t know, I don’t feel good mentally right now so if you could all just leave me alo…” I didn’t come further than that since Bucky cut me off in the middle of my sentence.

“Quit talking bullshit (Y/N)” I sighed and rubbed my (H/C) hair between my fingers thinking of how I was going to tell them and at the same time my brain was trying to come up with lies to tell them. I decided against lying this time, I was sick and tired of it after a month of lying. I knew that they wouldn’t punish me for it as they’ve never done anything to hurt me.  
I let go of my hair and sigh again while bringing my hand to my neck and rubbing it nervously before I say

“I don’t know how to tell you this…” I started but Natasha interrupted me in a try to lighten the mood and said: “I hope you aren’t pregnant, please don’t be pregnant, I’m not ready to be Aunt Nat to any more kids!” I just rolled my eyes at that. “Let’s just say that I’m the oldest person in this room.”

Everyone got very quiet at that until Tony said: “Oh so you remember stuff about your past life?” And I nodded. The quiet lasted until Clint said, “So how old are you like really old or what?” I did not want to answer that so I just told him to never ask a woman her age. Even though the conversation we were having was a very serious one, Bucky and Steve laughed at my statement.

“(Y/N) you do know that we need to know how old you are to be able to access files”; Tony said. I sighed and shook my head and said “You won’t find anything, not even if you have my age and birth of date. You didn’t start documenting peoples identities until 1894”; Then Clint said “You’re more of a fossil than the World War II veterans over there” pointing to Steve and Bucky at ‘World War II veterans’. I just simply nodded and replied “There’s no point in lying about my age since you’ll find out sooner or later”, I paused and swallowed before I replied, “I was born in 1793, so yes I’m 223 years old”. (if I counted correctly hehe).

Bucky whistled and said “You could be my grandma even great grandma”; “Wow gee thanks” I replied rolling my eyes. Then Bucky got serious and asked a very serious question “were you brainwashed by Hydra as well?” I nodded and that confirmed his question. U saw that he wanted to talk to me about it but not while the others were around.

“I’m kind of hungry do you think we could eat lunch soon?” Steve asked and Natasha replied, “Yes let’s go, cook, everyone,” she said seeing that Bucky wants to talk with me in private. Everyone except Bucky left and I promised that I’d show up to lunch. Bucky took a chair out and sat down on it across from me with a very concerned look on his face. We looked at each other before I looked Bucky in the eye and said: “I think I know how to get our memories back permanently.”

A/N  
Told you it was a short chapter but I just had a bit of a bad day today so and also while I was writing this I was very disturbed by everything that I normally wouldn’t be disturbed by (logics haha). Thank you for the good response on this story thingey :D SInce I’ve also started school again after winter break the chapters will be shorter now (I think haha)I am busier than I thought, we literally started school with a french presentation (not french speaking which is why this was hard for me haha). Bonjour je m'appelle BasicFangirl. A+ for me on that French. damn. Anyways….:D

As always hope you enjoyed :D <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY YAY YAY YAY!  
> I finally posted a chapter. Yeah last chapter came like in january or febuary maybe but I just got summer break! YAY! So now I will hopefully have time to write some on this story as well as my other story. I will probably not post that often since I actually got a job for three weeks this summer. YAY AGAIN! I'll still have time to write though since the job days are 9-14 so I'll have time to do stuff with this story and write some sweet cliffhangers you know.
> 
> If you care I want to apologize for not writing for a while. This school year has been horrible the worst year for me like ever. So I actually haven't had time to write at all. But now I do because I'm on vacay ya'know.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!  
> Yours Truly  
> Hannah
> 
> I'm sorry for writing rather short chapters but they will probably get longer as we get further into the story!

“I have flashbacks in my sleep and as soon as I wake up most of them are forgotten again, and then you kind of get this deja vu feeling, I’m guessing that’s happening to you as well?” I asked Bucky and he confirmed my question with a simple nod. The silence that followed was very awkward. Bucky and I have always been very close (my bestie hehe, I wish...) and we have always had something to talk about but right now it was very awkward and filled with awkwardness just really weird. I don’t know why but it got really awkward for some reason and I hate it. (oh btw did I mention it got really awkward, sry just said awkward very many times haha).

“So are you feeling better and stuff like that” Bucky asked in a try to get rid of the awkwardness. I replied with a simple “yeah.” and then I didn’t really have anything to say.

“You said you knew how to possibly get our memories back?” Bucky asked me looking down at his hands which rested in his lap. “Yes, possibly. But you know that science isn’t really my favorite thing in the world so I could have missed something. But hopefully not.”  
Bucky looked at me wanting me to elaborate.

“Look so last night I started researching about amnesia, brainwashing, and the brain and I found out that in the brain there is a part called ‘the cortex’. In the cortex our senses, movements memories, language, and feelings are controlled which means that some of the nerves must have been cut off and now they are slowly healing which gives us nasty flashbacks. We remember things by nerves sending out electrical waves with information to other parts of the body and brain. So if you can get the perfect amount of electricity that kind of shocks your damaged nerves and heals with help of some supersoldier like substance that will help the healing process you should theoretically be able to heal the nerves. Since you and I already got the healing serum and if that amount of serum is enough then all we need is the perfect amount of electricity to….yeah.” I explained to him.

Bucky nodded and looked thoughtful and said: “It makes sense”. Then he stayed quiet for a while. It was like if he actually considered that my theories. After a few minutes of silence, Bucky asked me a question which I was nervous to get.

“What would have happened if they didn’t give us the serum and if that serum isn’t enough?”

I swallowed nervously and explained my short theory about that. “We’d die.” I paused and took a deep breath and then continued “If it weren’t for the serum we would’ve died. Not even Steve who also has the serum in his system would have survived having a few of his most important nerves in the whole body being cut off yet we did.”

“Are you saying...That uhm…we don’t have the super soldier serum in our bodies, that we have something else or the super soldier serum and something else?” I nodded in reply.

Then there was just silence for a while until Bucky asked me another question.

“How do you know all of this?”

“Uhm well, I googled some of it but the rest uhm. I don’t know. I can’t remember.” I’m glad I met Bucky before this happened just having him here makes me want to cry. I think Bucky feels the same way. Knowing there is someone there who has been through the same thing to just be there and not question anything. Without even realizing it I make my way to the couch that Bucky is sitting in and I sit down in his lap and hug him while hiding my face in the crook of his neck while letting my tears escape my eyes. I feel that Bucky does the same thing to me and we just sit there until we feel ready to walk downstairs.

Walking downstairs I just smile at Bucky and he smiles back at me after our discussion. Knowing we have a plan. We are going to get our memories back. It doesn’t matter how. But we are going to get them back. And we have a plan.


	6. Chapter 6

Knowing my adoptive father, Tony Stark, I understood he’d never let me casually insert deadly amounts of electricity into my brain so, therefore Bucky and I need a plan. A good one too. Living in a tower full of superheroes isn’t always amazing. Especially not when you need to keep a secret.

Our biggest “threat” is Natasha. A Russian spy who can tell if a fly is lying. If flies can lie that is. In this dilemma, Bucky and I had two options. Either we tell Natasha, taking a risk that will be worth it if she actually decides to keep our secret. But on the other hand, if she decides to on us we’re screwed. Especially poor James who Tony isn’t the largest fan of even though he can tolerate him now.  
The most likely thing for Natasha to do is option number two. At the same time, Natasha would be the only person in the tower who would keep our secret. And we need all the help we can get so maybe telling Natasha won’t be a bad thing. And, that is how we got into the situation we are in right now.

“What do you mean now?” Natasha exclaims after hearing our plan. Bucky is giving me the told-you-it-was-a-bad-idea-telling-her-look. “Hey Tash, we’re not putting ourselves in danger,” I tell her. “Mhm, yeah and you want me to believe that? You don’t want to tell anyone but me? Yeah, I don’t think that I believe you.” Then she pauses for a second before continuing, “And you James how can you even let her think these thoughts?” With that, she shakes her head and critically shakes her head at us. Bucky lowers his head and looks at his feet before meeting my eyes and then turning to look at Natasha. Looking straight into Natasha's eyes with his piercing blue eyes he says “I know and it hurts me, but I’m really desperate. It's hard”. Before lowering his eyes to his feet again

“It’s killing me, Tash, not knowing, not remembering everything. This is the first time in decades for me, for both of us, that we have a possible cure.” I pause and look up from my feet and meet my eyes with Natashas.  
“Please, Natasha. I don’t know if I can do this for much longer and I am going to have to do this either way. It hurts, so fucking bad.”

Keeping my (y/e/c) eyes on Natasha's green ones until her eyes move to Bucky then continues to move between us. Then she sighs and crouches and puts her head in between so the only thing you can see is her red, slightly curly hair. She then moves her head up and looks at us from her crouched position and says, “Even though this is very against my morals, I will keep your secret but if something goes wrong I am not taking the blame! I want some papers written by you (y/n) by hand explaining what you are going to keep. I am going to store those papers in my room and if anything goes wrong I can say I found them in your room. I may be a changed person from whom I was before but I don’t want to be in a quarrel with Tony. That is my only requirement.” 

“Deal Tash. And thank you. So incredibly much for doing this.” I tell her while looking down into her eyes. She meets my eyes and gives me a smile even though her eyes are filled with guilt since she knows she is doing something very wrong keeping this a secret but she knows it’d be worse if she told Tony because then she’d have to see (y/n) suffer every day. And she wouldn’t be able to deal with that, the fact that she might have ruined (y/n's) life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally posted again. I am incredibly busy with school at the moment and I want to graduate with as good grades as possible so therefore my rather crappy updates will continue for a while. At least until winter break in December. But just so you know I haven't given up on my fanfiction writing, I just have a very busy life at the moment.  
> Thank you for all the positive feedback I've gotten on my stories though! I am incredibly happy about it! Love to everyone who has left a comment! They mean a lot to me!
> 
> My plan for this story is to update a bit more often than before with a bit shorter chapters.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


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